I hate cancer.

This has been a very sad few days. A good friend of mine lost her sister-in-law to cancer on Friday evening. Renee Lucas was 38 years old, a wife, mother to 2 very sweet girls aged 10 and 13, and everyone seems to have genuinely loved her. At least 3 people have told me that she never had a negative thing to say about anyone and she was always willing to help people--one of those few genuinely good people. Her parents are both still alive, and I can't imagine how they feel knowing that tomorrow they will be burying their daughter.

I know this is not my family, and I didn't know Renee except through my friend, but this is so sad, and I can't tell you how many times my mind has wandered to those poor little girls. I have not yet been personally affected by cancer, praise God. I heard from my friend parts of Renee's battle, and while I do know that now she is in a better place, my heart breaks for those left behind. I spent about 40 minutes on the phone Saturday morning with my friend and when I hung up I just felt like bawling. I went and told Melissa and Nathan that the mom we had been praying for passed away so the girls didn't have their mommy anymore. So then Nathan says "it's oK mommy, they still have their daddy and he's a good guy". So like him to put things into perspective. But I just can't shake this feeling of sadness for them all. She'd had cancer for 2 years, I guess in the back of his mind he had to expect that she may not beat it, but does that make it easier? I think not. I can't imagine what I'd do if I found out I had cancer. How do you prepare your kids? Your husband? Your parents and siblings? I think I'd be prepared myself since I know that I'd be in that perfect place with our Lord, but the thought of my family suffering just kills me.

Another friend of mine lost her father, only 57 years old, on Saturday. He had a heart attack last Monday, was in the hospital all week and his lung collapsed on Saturday morning. She is my age and this was totally unexpected. She's handling it very well-only because she's got the support of God and she knows that with His help she will make it through.

Someone from our church has a 2 year old baby girl who was diagnosed with leukemia at 9 months old. Well, she was in remission, and now it's back with a vengeance, and they have to try a bone marrow transplant from someone who isn't a perfect match, but they say it's bad and the prognosis is too sad to think about.

So is it easier to lose your mother, your father, or your child? I will selfishly say that I don't want to deal with any of the above. I wish I had the words to ease the pain of these people, but I don't. I can pray, and maybe that's all I can do right now.

I don't know what else to write. Anything going on in my life right now seems so trivial to the events going on with my friends right now. Mike and I will go to the funeral home tonight for Renee, hopefully I don't say something stupid while I'm there.

Please cherish your family. Be thankful for your blessings and don't take anything for granted.

Here is a link to the website of a photographer that we know. He took some pictures of Renee's family over the summer. This link goes to a picture of them. It's so sad.

http://www.photoreflect.com/pr3/orderpage.aspx?pi=0OZS000Z000039&po=39